Whale Soup

Maui Sunset.  The sun had already set so I had to use a Tiki Torch...

Oahu is too big, Kaua’i is too small.

Maui is just right. 

I feel a bit like Goldilocks saying that.  Minus the golden locks, of course - or locks of any kind, for that manner.  Is there such a character as Baldilocks?

We think Maui has the right balance between dead quiet and frenetic activity.   It also has the best beaches no matter how you look at it.  It is hard to complain about Hawaii - it is all very lush and tropical so it is either good or better.

coffee at the Kihei Cafe

When we arrived in Maui we were immediately greeted by warmer, dryer and less windy conditions.  That was a good start!  Kaua’i was very windy and showery and Oahu was more so.  Sunshine, warmth, calm breezes and long sandy beaches…?  What did we do right to deserve this?  I kept looking around to see if God was going to jump out from behind a palm tree with an evil grin on her face, turn on the cold and rain and say, “Just Kidding!” 

When we rented a car on Kaua’i we got upsold by a very skillful salesperson and ended up paying for a much larger and more expensive car than we wanted.  We don’t rent cars very much so we got taken.  We know better now.  If you go to Kaua’i watch out for Dollar Rent-a-car!  When we got to Maui we went to the Avis Car Rental and got a gentleman there who quickly put our request through with no up-sales and no pressure and we drove away paying about one-third of what we got nailed for on Kaua’i. 

Sunshine, warmth, calm breezes, long sandy beaches and honest car rental people!

Kamaole Beach

Telen making the beach look good!

When we got to the condo we had rented we got pleasantly surprised again.  It was a beautiful little condo with a full kitchen and enough kitchen supplies to run a catering business.  We had not planned on doing any catering while we were there so it was a bit more than we required but Telen was running around letting out little squeals of delight.

 

The décor was the outcome of the Liberace /Martha Stewart throw-down.  There was more frills and chintz in the place than I would have thought possible.  The owner was on an estrogen-fueled decorating frenzy when she renovated the place.   I had to go outside to keep from getting moody and bloated periodically.  Having said that, though, it was a kind of fun place to stay for a while if you were careful to avoid knocking the seashells down that were pasted on everything. 

Sunshine, warmth, calm breezes, long sandy beaches, honest car rental people and an over-the-top condo!

And whales.  There are so many whales in the water here it is like whale soup.

A humpback whale "chin-wagging" near our whale-watching boat 

It always amazes me on Maui where you can sit quietly on the beach and suddenly what appears to be a semi-trailer truck comes flying up out of the water, does a half-twist and lands on its side raising a minor tsunami.  Then the water calms down and it is like nothing happened except your chin is down on your chest.

How much energy does it take to throw a whale that weights 35 to 45 tons completely out of the water?  I weigh slightly less than that and I can barely get my head and shoulders out of the water when I try “breaching”.  The other question that arises is – why?  If you weigh 35 – 45 tons what would possess you to just throw yourself into the air from a dead stop? 

I see men strutting up and down the beaches here.  Often their movements are unnaturally stiff as they try to keep those pecs and lats flexed but try to appear relaxed as if that’s how their muscles always look.  They work all year long to earn enough money to come to Hawaii so they can do this.  They spend their hard earned money furiously on expensive toys like surfboards and kite boards and renting fancy cars.

Humpback whales come to Hawaii for the very same reasons.  Except whales use blubber instead of money.  Throwing your 45-ton weight into the air and burning up your hard earned blubber carelessly shows just how much blubber you have.

And why do both these species do this?  It’s the chicks, man!

I have noticed that some of the human species have gotten confused about which sort of currency they should use – blubber or money?  Quite a few people on the beach have accumulated large amounts of blubber and seem to have no intention of burning it up.  I just hope none of them go in the water when an amorous male Humpback is in the area.  It would turn out badly for both parties.

We went out on a whale-watching trip.  We had scheduled it a few days previous and when we showed up in Lahaina at the dock we were warned that it was quite windy out there and how comfortable were we with getting wet.  I looked out at the water and thought, “Sure, there are a few whitecaps but it looks ok.  Besides if we get wet it is just warm Hawaiian water”. We said it was no problem.

We sat at the front of the Zodiac so we could get the best view.  When the first wave out of the harbour came over the bow and landed directly on us soaking us completely we began to question our judgment.  It was after the trip was over that we were informed that those particular seats were nicknamed the “cowboy seats”.

There is a persistent belief that during rough weather the Humpback whales are more active.  I don’t know if it is true.  It seemed true.  We came across a mother and a calf with a hyperactivity disorder.  The mother would show the calf how to do a breach and then the calf would try to copy.  This calf kept breaching again and again.  Everyone on the boat would go “Awwww, isn’t he cute…!”  That cute little baby is about the size of a Land Rover.

Shortly thereafter we saw a couple of males breaching in tandem.  It was like two freight cars doing synchronized swimming.  You had to be impressed but you worried about the size of the nose clips.

According to the naturalist the males were competing for the attention of the female who was instructing the baby on how to breach. I’m sure the attempt to entice a female who just gave birth to a Land Rover is doomed to failure.

We did the tourist thingy and went to a Luau.  The food was good and they had the obligatory Hula dancers and the grand finale of the fire dancer.  I know it seems trite and touristy and all that but we really enjoyed it.  So there!

The Luau - very touristy!  These are some tourists

If we ever come to Hawaii again I think we will come directly to Maui.  It seems to fit what we want in a tropical holiday.  We are not nightlife people (and some would say we are not day-life people either…) so strutting our stuff in the clubs does not attract us.   In my case strutting my stuff in night clubs tends to have a strong negative effect on the word “attract”.  Eating in fancy restaurants is not a big thing for us either – we tend to like to cook our own meals because it is cheaper and we (when I say we I mean Telen) can make meals as good as any restaurant.

So that leaves the beach.  Maui has that.  Big time!

Makenna Beach (Big Beach)

Now we are off home to Reality for a few weeks.  We don’t intend to stay long.  Reality is a nice placed to visit, but I wouldn’t want to live there.