Searching for Chinatown

The Temple of the Golden Buddha

Chinatown is reputedly about 20 minutes walk from our hotel.  We have tried to find it twice.  The problem is that the streets of Bangkok are narrow, winding, and frantically busy.  The other thing is that according to the map they theoretically have names but in reality that remains only a theory.   They have traffic laws here but they are only guidelines and no one has read the manual.  Crossing the street is an extreme sport.  Traffic lights are Christmas decorations that someone forgot to take down and are best ignored.  Strangely even though the streets are filled with near misses, close calls and near-death experiences no one leans on their horns or even appears upset.

Buddha

Last night, on our second attempt to find Chinatown we wandered hither and yon for a couple of hours and decided that we had best head back to the hotel for supper.  One thing about Bangkok is that there are street vendors every couple of meters cooking the most wonderful smelling food.  We didn’t make it to the Hotel. We had to stop and do the Thai thing – which is to eat incredible food from a street vendor while sitting on a plastic patio chair on the edge of chaos.  I am not really positive what it was we ate – I know there were noodles involved, some kind of vegetable and a mystery protein.  It tasted wonderful.  Thai food is rapidly overtaking Italian food as my favourite. 

Food is cheap here.  Our meal cost us about 300 Baht - which is about $10.00 Canadian.  That was for both of us and it included 3 dishes, cold drinks and tea.  Why would anyone eat at home when it is so cheap to eat out?  And the Thais love to eat!  Every minute of every day there are people sitting at the roadside stands concentrating on demolishing huge plates of food.  And very few people here are overweight.  You see some large people but, by and large, the Thais are slender.

Street Vendor cooking up something delicious

Feminity is prized here in Thailand.  Even, apparently, in the men.  If the first waiter we had could be described as “flaming” then the second one could only be described as “nuclear”.  It seems to be a common thing for gay men here to be very “Nelly” and flamboyant.  The straight men also seem to be quite feminine in appearance and mannerisms.  I guess that goes a long way to explaining the stereotype of the “lady-boy” – the transvestite concept carried to the extreme.  Strangely, the women are very feminine and seem to be very conscious of their appearance – clothing, make-up etc. etc.  The air seems to be saturated not just with water but with estrogen.

Since the climate here is very hot and humid we thought we would go to the local mall to get some appropriate clothing.  One needs clothing that is cool and mosquito proof if one does not want to contract heat stroke, malaria or dengue fever.  Our Canadian clothing goes a long way toward fending off the little bloodsuckers but also goes a long way toward creating the heat stroke.

The cab ride to the mall cost us about 50 Baht, 3 myocardial infarctions and 6 panic attacks.  The total cost:  about $1.25 or roughly 18 cents per M.I… 

We don’t have malls like that in Canada.  It was six stories tall and as long and as wide as two football fields (American measurement).  It seemed to go on forever and it was packed cheek to jowl with small stores. It was arranged, roughly, by merchandise.  Clothing on one floor, electronics on the next, furniture on another, etc.  The cell-phone floor was literally filled with cell-phone vendors and the space between the stalls was wide enough for two Thai to pass one another or one Canadian to walk down sideways.  Clothing was cheap – we got 4 shirts and two pairs of pants for about 1000 baht (roughly $30.00 Cad).  Electronics – not so much- about the same prices as at home.  The mall was packed with people shopping.  So much for Buddhism and the concept of refraining from possession.

After the shopping and driving Telen was all knotted up in the shoulders and decided a good massage was in order.  There was a place a stone’s throw from our hotel that advertised Thai massage and foot massage.  I have very fond memories of the food massages I had in China and thought it was a great idea.  Instead of the cute little Chinese girls who did the massage in China I got the only large overweight male Thai who had prison tats and multiple piercings as my masseur.  Not only was the massage considerably more vigorous than the ones in China there was also sharpened sticks used to poke into various and sundry points on my foot. The masseur dissolved in gales of laughter every time his prodding made me sit up suddenly.  

Relaxing?…I don’t think so!

We finally found Chinatown!  Telen checking out the produce

 Telen writes:

Sa-wat-dee!  This means Hello or Greetings in Thai.

Bangkok is a city of 8 million people, 14 million people if one includes the surrounding metropolitan area.  I am slowly adapting to the chaos of traffic and sounds.  The locals all seem to have a lovely gentle smile whenever they greet you.  Yet, a maniac-like aggression is displayed when they get behind the driver’s wheels or on mopeds.  Pedestrians have no rights.  Rand and I rely on the locals when crossing the streets, not the traffic lights.  Once we have committed ourselves to cross, we just run as fast as possible to the other side of the street looking repeatedly both ways for moving vehicles.

The sounds are chaotic as well.  This morning when we went into the dining room for breakfast, we were greeted by music from the Carpenters at high volume.  This was mixed in with loud conversations from other tourists from China.  I could tell - they were speaking (or rather- yelling) Mandarin.

My jet lag is much improved now.  Last night, I dragged Rand to a local massage parlor near the hotel to experience some traditional Thai massage.  I picked Thai massage as I thought it might help with my stiff sore upper back and neck from all the travelling.  The experience turned out to be totally unexpected.  For 1 hour, the masseuse stretched, pulled and bent all my major joints.  He slapped and kneaded the muscles in all 4 extremities, my entire back, neck and face.  Then, to gain even greater leverage, he put his foot in my armpits as he pulled on my upper trunk and twisted it into a yogic like posture.  After the treatment, Rand and I were offered a cup of hot sweet tea that turned out to be very refreshing.  This morning, I admit that I do feel better - less tense and stiff and more energetic.  My muscles feel somewhat sore as if I had a major workout.

Another confusing social scene is seeing people of uncertain gender, or sometimes referred to as the 3^rd gender.  According to some references I came across, the Thailand medical community performs the largest number of gender assignment surgery in the world.  Yet, Thailand is described in tour books as a conservative Buddhist society.

I am excited to be here in SE Asia.  For one thing, I love eating noodles and, guess what, noodles are a BIG favourite here.

One Night in Bangkok

Alaska- yes we flew over Alaska and Russia!

It was a long plane ride. 

Thirteen hours to Hong Kong, four hours in Hong Kong and another two and a half hours to Bangkok.   We both watched three movies on the plane so our brains were slowly turning into cauliflower.  I know lots of you have done longer plane rides or bus rides or such like.   So, you win.  I did a twenty-four hour bus ride once, though, when I was young and foolish.  The key words there were “young” and “foolish”.   Now, I am old and foolish and so it is not so easy anymore.

By the time we got to Bangkok it was 1:30 am here and we had left at 6:00 am Victoria time.  By my calculations we had been up for about 24 hours by the time we arrived.   It is a good thing that the check-in at the hotel was smooth as neither of us was actually functional at that point.  The amazing thing was that the roads were busy and people were on the street.  At 1:30 am at home the roads are deserted and if you walked into a hotel the person who checked you in would have hair sticking out in all directions and they would sound like Elmer Fudd.

Bangkok has a reputation. It changes your perception of what you see.   When we arrived at the hotel there were quite a number of provocatively dressed Thai women standing around in the lobby and walking in and out of the main doors.  My first thought was that they were there to make money.  Later I learned that there is a nightclub in the hotel.  Now those girls don’t look any different from any girls one would see in downtown Victoria outside of the clubs.  I am obviously not as free of prejudice as I would like to be.

Breakfast at the hotel this morning was what they considered at “western” breakfast.  They did have fried eggs, some variety of sausage, pancakes and toast but they also had myriad stir-fried dishes, chicken congee, and a variety of local fruit.  Nothing like eggs covered with a peanut stew that tasted like baked beans!

So far, in our limited exploration, Bangkok appears shabby.  Lots of the buildings in this area appear to be crumbling and mildewed. They don’t appear well kept.   The streets are narrow and straight lines appear to be a concept not known to the construction trade here.   This gives the city a certain charm and an intriguing character.  You can be wandering down a claustrophobic winding lane and suddenly come across a beautiful Buddhist Temple alive with Monks.   There are street vendors everywhere cooking food that I have no idea what it is but smells fabulous.  Shops that seem to be simply concrete rooms with the street wall missing are everywhere selling the weirdest stuff.  One that we passed today had just toilets stacked up everywhere – all covered with dust.

Bangkok from our hotel window

The locals try to promote the city by calling it the “City of Smiles”.  They are not wrong!  The people here are very friendly and smile at you all the time.  The normal greeting is hands held together like a prayer with a slight bow and a dazzling smile. It is called Wai.  There are some complicated status thingys associated with it which only a native Wai’er would understand but it is a very warm and elegant greeting and makes you feel friendly and accepted.  I like it!

The World Meteorological Association rates Bangkok the world’s hottest city.  That is probably because they had their annual conference here and saw all those pretty Thai girls…

 We only got in last night and are still jet lagged and groggy but we are very thankful that our room is air-conditioned.   On our brief walk this morning we found it very hot and very humid.   Bangkok, reputedly, has some enormous shopping malls – all air-conditioned. No wonder Thailand has such a strong economy – everyone goes to the cool malls and spends all their money…

Riding with Murphy

Beacon Hill Park

It is nice to be home in Victoria even if it is only for a short period.   We have been visiting with friends, getting the next section of our escape teed up, and shivering in the damp and cold. 

Victoria is a wonderful place but Murphy lives here.   You know Murphy – the guy that writes those bad laws.  Murphy has always been a close acquaintance of mine but I think he missed me and started hanging out with me in earnest.

I went for a bike ride the other day when the weather was clear, windless and warm.  I know, I know – after riding across Canada you would think I would be sick of cycling.   So I am an addict!  Anyway, most of the ride was great.  As I said, it was a perfect day for a ride.

Murphy joined me as I was coming home along the Galloping Goose trail between Royal Oak Drive and Mackenzie.   I got a flat.   No big deal – they happen and you fix them. 

Not with Murphy there, you don’t.

I got the tire off (back wheel, of course).  Found the cause of the flat and put a new tube in the wheel and put the tire back on.   Got out my CO2 cartridges to pump up the tire.  The first cartridge became a scud missile as I tried to affix it to the chuck.  Luckily none of the ducks in Blenkinsop Lake were injured.  I then attached my second cartridge to the chuck and nothing happened.  I could not get it to inflate my tire.  No matter what things I said about it’s ancestry, it’s status with God or it’s unhealthy relationship with it’s mother it would not work.

Luckily cyclist tend to stop when they see another cyclist with his wheel off even if he is dancing around in circles, shaking his fist at the sky and blaspheming at maximum volume.  One of them gingerly handed me a pump and backed away quickly.   So I started to inflate the tire.  The stem of the valve broke in half.  No one had seen that before and a scientific discussion ensued with other cyclist stopping to comment.   One of them had another tube he agreed to give me if only I bring my voice down.

As we started to inflate it the tube exploded and blew the tire off the rim.   Thank you, Murphy!  

I thanked the gentlemen and suggested they keep their distance and I would walk home since there had obviously been a Holy Decree that “Thou shalt not ride thy bicycle”.

To add insult to injury on my walk home I lost one of my cleat covers. I think it is fair to say that by the time I got home I was not in the euphoric state I usually am after a ride.

Last night we went to the movies.  I went down to the concession stand to get our usual treats: tea for Telen, coffee for me and a bag of popcorn to share.  I decided to forego the tray since I could carry all three things in all two of my hands.  I had the tea between my left arm and my chest, the popcorn and the ticket in my left hand and the coffee in my right hand. 

Murphy came to help.  The lid came off the tea – which was in a to-go cup, which immediately collapsed from the pressure of my arm and poured over my stomach.  Hot tea – not iced tea.  I tried to maneuver so that I could put things down and in doing so spilled the coffee over my hand and dumped the popcorn on the floor. 

When I arrived at our seat and gave Telen her tea she looked at me with some puzzlement.  What she saw was me standing there with half a torn bag of popcorn, half a cup of coffee, half a cup of tea – both held gingerly by the rim in my right hand and a huge wet steaming stain on my shirt that I was holding out from my body with a reddened left hand. 

Is it any wonder the woman finds me so attractive?

My daughter says that I thrive in an environment of chaos.  I don’t think that is true.   I don’t thrive - I survive. 

Is Southeast Asia ready for this?  I don’t think so.