The Big Easy

The “Big Easy” was easy in some respects, and not so easy in others.  The easy part was obvious on Bourbon Street.  Apparently Bourbon Street has always had a reputation for being a bit risqué but now I think that has gone downhill and the term “trashy” actually applies. A fairly large section of Bourbon street consists of “Men’s Clubs” with such names as “Barely legal” and “Little Darlings” and there are scantly clad young ladies in dangerously high heels standing in the doorways waving at all the alcohol infused men. At one point I noticed two women walking down the street dressed in gold body suits with the Fleur-de-Lis on them.  As they got closer I realized that there were no suits, only paint. 
Telen said she was worried that these women might drag me into their establishments but I explained to her that these girls would not be taking their clothes off because of how “sexy” they thought I was – in fact in their profession; they probably thought NO men were sexy.   They were only attracted to men with abnormally large… wallets.

So, perhaps they were the easy part. 

Bourbon Street in the morning

I found the profusion of these clubs and the plethora of cheap souvenir shops all selling the same lame T-shirts and coffee mugs brought the French Quarter down a lot.   The French Quarter has some wonderful architecture, great restaurants, fabulous music, fascinating history and a terrific atmosphere.  It is too bad that they let that part of Bourbon Street go downhill.  C’est la vie! 

The Neighbourhood of Marie La Veau the Witch Queen of New Orleans

I get to be the guinea pig…

We went for a guided walking tour of the French Quarter last night.  The guide was very knowledgeable and took us around the area explaining the history of New Orleans and showing us the areas and buildings where the history took place.  We did have a slight agree-to-disagree discussion about the War of 1812 that she thought the Americans had won.  There was the battle of New Orleans where the Americans did defeat the British Forces but that was a few days after the War of 1812 was over and nobody had told either side that.  Neither the guide or the other American lady who was on the tour knew that the Canadian forces had chased the Americans all the way back to Washington.  I guess it is in the American history books like Tiananmen Square is in the Chinese history books.

On our tour we walked past Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s house.  I guess they weren’t home because they did not come out and ask in for a drink.  They probably knew that, unlike the rest of New Orleans, Telen and I don’t drink.  Mind you, compared to New Orleans, the Irish don’t drink.  I do have some staff members back home, though, who might be at home here. 

After the tour we took a stroll through the French Quarter.  It was crazy!  The only law with regards to carrying liquor around in New Orleans is that it has to be in plastic containers.  So people were walking around with huge plastic jugs filled with all manner of drinks.  I even saw some people staggering down the street with fish bowls full of fluorescent liquids.  We did see a number of hand-grenades lying on the road but apparently they were just plastic bottles that had been full of a drink called… you guessed it a “hand grenade”.  It gave us the willies the first time we saw them, though – knowing the American penchant for weaponry.   

So I guess that was the not-so-easy part.

There was lots of jazz blasting out of the doors of all the bars.  It got to the point that it all started to meld together into a solid wall of sound.   New Orleans is the birthplace of jazz and it seems as if everyone here plays an instrument of one kind or another.  If they don’t play an instrument they sing or tap-dance.  There is all kind of jazz from Dixieland to New Orleans to blue-eyed soul.  Amazing.  After seeing and hearing all this I know that I have music in me…  it must be in me because it has never, ever come out.  After listening to me sing along with the music in the car Telen will substantiate this emphatically.

Bourbon Street in the Evening

We are now in Lafayette Louisiana.  Cajun country.  This is one of the major areas the Acadians came to after the British kicked them out of Nova Scotia in the 1700’s.  They settled here, learned to survive off the land and evolved into the Cajuns.

Son of gun, gonna have big fun on the Bayou

We went to a restored Cajun Village and got an appreciation as to what was necessary to survive on the Bayou.  The Acadians/Cajuns were tough and resourceful people, indeed.  They also had a “jam” session there with about 15 musicians using fiddles, guitars, harmonicas and accordions to play traditional Cajun music.  We could certainly hear the similarity to the fiddle music we heard in Chetticamp, Nova Scotia. That makes sense, of course.

Something making sense here?  Go figure! 

Surreal Estate

We had to say goodbye to Orlando.  It is not that Orlando is such a wonderful city because it is unremarkable unless you are a Disney addict.  However, our friends were so warm and welcoming that we found it difficult to leave.  

So, we left in style.

We all headed for St. Petersburg on the Gulf coast of Florida.  St. Petersburg is on a peninsula just south of Tampa and boasts wonderful white sand beaches that border the Gulf of Mexico. That’s right- beach time AGAIN.  The difference between the beaches here and the beaches back in Canada is that the water does not freeze solid for half the year.  So, it is warmer. Considerably warmer.

Hanging out with the Papp family on the beach on the first day of autumn

In order to save money we rented a room that could hold all 7 of us.  Five adults and two children.  This presented a challenge for the 3 males in the group (Roy, his 7 year old son Talon and myself) who traditionally don’t wear PJ’s.  There was considerable consternation amongst the women when they found this out and an expedition was mounted to the pharmacy to stock up on Gravol (which they call Dramamine here) and sleep masks.  In the meantime the males headed to Target to acquire some kind of sleep wear.  The theme, at Talon’s insistence, was agreed to be Angry Birds.  It is hard to know what caused the most reaction amongst the ladies; the thought of the three of us naked or the sight of us in our Angry Birds boxers and t-shirts. Either way there was a lot of giggling, shrieking, and pounding of backs, which got considerably worse when the three of us danced the Haka (traditional Maori war dance) to prop up our diminishing masculinity.  See what I mean:  STYLE!

Angry Birds reeking of masculinity

 On our way to St. Petersburg we stopped at a restaurant that served gator ribs.  Unlike Buffalo wings gator ribs actually come from an alligator.  We felt that the best way to overcome our fear of alligators was to eat one.  So we ate the gator ribs laughing like arch-villains with the barbeque sauce running down our chins.  Bring it on, gators!

Tampa has a gallery dedicated to the works of Salvador Dali.   So we stopped there for a few hours and wandered through looking at the dream-like and slightly disturbing paintings and illustrations.  I was quite fascinated with some his works and quite puzzled by others.  I left there with my brain in a fog and my eyes smarting.  Eating alligator then going to the Dali museum…the day was getting very surreal.  Later that day I noticed that my watch had melted.

Telen and some "Persistence of Memory"

We walked down the beach at St. Petersburg to the Don Cesar hotel.  Apparently the “Don” has a history with a great many celebrities including some who were on the wrong side of the law.  Which is strange when you consider it looked like a pink cream-puff castle.  I am having a hard time imagining Al Capone sitting with his henchmen and having a drink in a pink puffy fantasy palace.  However we had some wonderful French-press coffee and desert there until a couple of Italian men in Fedoras suggested in raspy voices that the “Don” felt we should “uh, return to where we come from, ya know wut I mean?”.

The "Don" aka the" Pink Palace"

Arya is truly a Florida girl.  She had her first swim before her first bath.  Kim took her into the ocean for her first swim.  Well, actually her first splash.  Her feet touched the water and immediately retracted accompanied by loud sounds of protest.  So, maybe it wasn’t a swim or even a splash but she has contacted the environment unshielded.  It’s a start.

Our friends returned to Orlando and we carried on with our journey.  It was hard to say good-bye.  Or, it was for us.  I think I saw them dancing and singing in their car as they drove away.

We drove to Tallahassee , then Mobile, Alabama. We are now ensconced in New Orleans just outside of the French Quarter.  I have to admit that I really like the appearance of the old part of New Orleans.  Up to now all the American cities have been interchangeable but New Orleans is refreshingly different.  We have already been to the French Market, walked on Bourbon Street, and eaten Cajun cooking.  Tonight we went out for soul food – Telen had fried chicken and mustard greens and I had catfish with cabbage.  We topped it off with sweet potato pie.  Certainly better than the traditional American food that has permeated the American chapter of our trip – burgers and fries or for fancy meals: hotdogs and fries!

Telen writes:

Staying with our friends for a week in Florida has given me a glimpse into daily living in the U S.  The American presidential election is coming up in November.  The TV and newspaper are full of mud slinging rhetoric between the Republicans and the Democrats.  There are many TV channels but none really is worth watching except the Food channel  (Ah, just like at home!).  The news reports here are mainly on the military actions in the Middle East and the presidential election.  There is zero news about Canada.  Apparently a recent UN report on happiness scores across nations ranked Canada in 4^th place with Denmark at the top.  USA is ranked in 8^th or 9^th place.  Over 90% of Canadians feel happy living in Canada.  I share this sentiment now as we travel through the States and sharing with our Florida friends about our respective lives.

The weather in Florida certainly makes me feel like I am really on vacation, i.e. sunny and warm, reminiscent of tropical vacations.  There are countless temptations everywhere you go: outlet malls, eat all you want buffets.  People generally are friendly. 

We have now driven through several southern states i.e. Alabama, Mississippi and now in Louisiana.  The southern accents become stronger as we travel west.  The street scenes also show less economic wealth here than Florida.  For example, yesterday we stayed overnight in Mobile, Alabama.  When we walked into the front entrance of a grocery store near our hotel, we were greeted by an armed security guard who calmly, but firmly asked us to leave our day bag at the customer service desk until we finish our shopping.  I noticed that the people in this neighborhood seem to be a bit impoverished. 

I like all the local foods that we have tried so far except the alligator ribs.  The meat tastes a little fishy yet the texture resembles pork.  I sure like the southern fried chicken and the collard greens!

Orlando

We are still in Orlando.  This was not the plan but our hosts, Roy, Kim, Talon their new baby, Arya and their friend Selena have been so gracious and hospitable that we are having a hard time tearing ourselves away.  They are so nice that they are constantly reminding us where the door handle is, putting our shoes outside the front door, asking us when we are leaving, and just being generally great hosts.

They have a new baby named Arya who was born September 6.  She is a very cute little girl with a sweet disposition.  Mind you, since her vocabulary is limited, her requests for things tend to be loud, monosyllabic and at all times of the day and night.  It has been a long time since I have had babies around that it is a constant wonder to see how quickly they develop and change. Imagine going from knowing absolutely nothing to being able to walk, talk and interact in less than two years.  Watching Arya change and learn amazing new skills in only one week just blows me away.  Both Telen and I are learning new skills as well; holding the baby and passing her back to Mom when she cries and poops…

We all went out for Japanese food in celebration of Arya’s birth to a restaurant they went to when Talon was born seven years ago.  In keeping with our journey we were waited on by a flaming gay Japanese man with a southern accent. The food was very good and everyone over-indulged.

Florida Grasshopper

Telen and I were feeling like we needed some exercise.  We had been sitting in the car for quite a while since we finished the bike ride in Newfoundland and we were starting to feel kind of stale.   So we went to a nearby gym that Kim works at.  Talk about posh! State of the art equipment, they supplied towels for the showers and small towels to carry around to dab off the perspiration and wipe the equipment down.  The showers even had body wash and shampoo included.

Telen went for a deep-water exercise class and I headed over to the fitness equipment.  I thought I should warm up on the stationary cycle.  As soon as I got on the bike my bum and legs immediately set up a chorus of protest and dissent.  They were not happy.  In this heat and humidity warming up was not difficult.  It was not long before the little towel weighed more than the little fat cyclist.  Telen came out of the exercise class looking refreshed and energized while I simply looked dehydrated.

That evening we went to a dance class with our hosts.  This was a West-Coast Swing class.  Neither Telen or I had ever done West-Coast swing before so it was completely new to us.  It is always nice to try something new.  Apparently everyone else in the class had done this dance for years even though it was a novice class… or, at least that’s how it felt.  Telen picked it up right away and looked great and I did my usual.  At the end of the class the instructor stood in the middle of the studio with her hair in disarray amidst the shattered mirrors, chandeliers swinging by bare wires with sparks flashing, overturned chairs and pictures hanging askew on the walls and made me promise to never, ever come back.

I had fun, anyway…

Tonight we are going to a performance by Talon and his dancing partner Sidney.  Talon and his partner are both seven years old.  It should be fun to watch.  Kind of a mini-version of “So you think you can dance”.  I hope they let me in the studio…

The weather here has been interesting.  I have never seen such bizarre rain.  It comes down in incredible torrents amidst bolts of lightning, and crashes of thunder for up to 15 minutes, then it is gone and it appears as if nothing has happened.  This has occurred many times since we have been here interspersed with very hot, humid sunny weather.  Apparently this is normal.

After the Rain

Since we have been here we have become addicted to the Game of Thrones mini-series.  I have read the first book of the series but seeing enacted gives it a new life.  I got Roy addicted to coffee and this is payback.  He knows that when we leave here we will not have access to this.   I can hear him snorting, chortling and even sometimes full out maniacal laughing in the background.  He is an evil man!

Tomorrow we all leave for St. Petersburg on the Gulf of Mexico side of Florida. Apparently it has a fabulous beach and warm water.  I am always up for a beach day or two.  If the heat and humidity get to be too much we can always take a dip in the ocean.  Think about that:  If the high percentage of water in the air becomes too oppressive you immerse yourself in one hundred per cent water.  How does that work?

After that we head towards New Orleans. 

At least that’s the plan.

The Mouse Trap

We have made it to the “Mouse Trap” as the people here refer to Orlando.  We made it through the Carolinas and Georgia unscathed and uninjured.  I think the US government recruited or placed all their military personnel in this part of the country.  The places we stayed at were rife with uniforms, flags and patriotic sentiment.  Telen told me to keep my mouth shut and we just might survive.  She was right, as usual.  Object lesson to me:  keeping my opinions to myself has survival value. 

The freeway going through Jacksonville was, I think, designed by the roller-coaster imagineers from Disney.  The road dipped, turned and twisted for no apparent reason. It was a three-dimensional maze.  There were cars above you, below you, beside you and I swear I saw some cars just going around and around and around.  They must have had a Bogo on concrete when they build it because there did not seem to be any reason for most of the structure.  At one point I thought we had turned around and headed back northward for a while.

Outside of Jacksonville we ran into rain like we have never seen.  We could see the rainstorm ahead on the road.  It looked like we were approaching a wall.  When we hit the storm it was like driving through a car wash complete with soap, wax and power wash.  With the windshield wipers going full speed we could barely see the road ahead of us.  And this was on the freeway.  It lasted a few minutes and then we were out in the sunshine again.  A few minutes later it happened again.  By the third time it was getting monotonous.

The vegetation seemed to change completely as we crossed the border into Florida.  Palm trees everywhere.  The grass became coarser and thicker and the trees are covered in Kudzu vines.  And hot!  We just came across Canada in the hottest summer in a long while yet down here we feel like we have not adapted to the heat at all. 

Kudzu vines covering everything

We are staying with some great old friends here for a few days here.  They just had a brand new baby so we won’t staying long.  They are the penultimate hosts and are coping so well it is like a nothing happened.  Of course the baby is beautiful.

Today we all went for a stroll around a nearby lake.   We had a close encounter with an alligator.   This is not something you see back home.  The other thing we discovered is that there are numerous poisonous snakes in Florida.  Back home we might see an occasional salamander and a garter snake – here you see alligators and water moccasins.  We also saw a grasshopper that was easily 8 centimeters in length. 

The Alligator encounter.  It was about 6 feet long

The southern accent seemed to disappear when we got into Florida.  As we worked our way down the eastern states the southern American accent seemed to get thicker and more unintelligible.  We were in a grocery store in Georgia and a gentleman was kibitzing with one of the clerks and we could not understand a thing either of them was saying.  Since we crossed into Florida the accent is more like the west coast.  Mind you, “Thank-you” still sounds like “Uh-huh”.

I think there must be money in Florida.  All the houses here are large and well kept.  The roads are wide and in excellent repair.  We saw numerous huge Outlet Malls with the parking lots completely full of late model cars.  If there isn’t lots of money, then there is incredible debt. 

As we were driving today our friend Roy (who is from Canada) was mentioning that since we arrived he has reverted to some of his Canadian ways such as using his signal lights.  He said that using signal lights here is considered a sign of weakness.