Bali Bye!

Bali Girl.  Ok, it's Telen - Beautiful and Exotic

Bali is one of those places that seemed exotic and magical to me.  It always had the lure of mystery and fantasy.  In my mind it was white beaches, dense jungle, beautiful exotic women, and strange adventure.      

The beaches are more golden than white, the jungle is dense and the women are beautiful and exotic.  It has a feeling of magic about it.

But I think we came to Bali at the wrong time.

Things you don’t want on your beach holiday are rain, humidity, flies, and Russians.

Rain was probably the most obvious detractor.   If it rained only for an hour or so a day it would not be a problem.   It rained every day while we were there and, according to the locals, that is normal for this time of year.  My concern was the volume and duration of the rainstorms.  When it would rain it would pour or it would flood.  We had a few days where there were a few hours where it would only threaten to rain but almost no sunshine at all. 

When it wasn’t raining it was extremely hot and humid.   Hot is good on a beach holiday. Humidity? - not so much.  The problem with humidity is that you cannot cool down.  Perspiration does not work because the margin between your perspiration and the air is poorly defined. Perspiration does not evaporate. It accumulates.  You get soaked whether it rains or not.

The humidity and the rain bring with it another aggravation.  Flies.  Flies love perspiration!  Heat and humidity: this is a win-win situation for the flies.  The flies rocket in on anyone who dares to show a trace of skin to have a little sip of perspiration.  I don’t begrudge them the perspiration – I certainly have plenty to share – but I do begrudge them the tickling.  When you are chilling out with a book in those rare moments of no rain it is very irritating to have little fly feet running all over you, not to mention the slurping sounds.  Flies have no manners.

Speaking of which.  Bali seems to be the “Hawaii” for Russians.  I know, I know, I am stereo-typing (typing with both hands…) but my experience with the Russians so far has not been positive.  In Laos they stole our breakfast and then said that they had been there first so it was theirs.  In Bangkok I got into a shoving match with a Russian man who slapped my hand away from the door to the toilet stall so he could barge in.  We had a group of Russians arrive next door to us in Bali and proceed to celebrate their arrival by getting stinking drunk, banging the doors, jumping in the pool and screaming at each other at full volume.  Normally that would only be a mild annoyance except that they arrived at 3 am.   Telen was shouldered aside by a young Russian boy who wanted to get into the washroom before her and then invited all his friends in to do their thing.  The Balinese locals, who are probably the most tolerant of all people, shake their heads when we mention the Russians.   But they like their Rubles.

Having said all that Bali is still exotic and magical.   If you look closely, though, the magic has a little taint of capitalism.  Bali is the richest province of Indonesia.  The reason for that is us…  tourism!  Just in our little hotel alone there were tourists from Germany, eastern Europe, Russia, and Japan.  Which explains why no one ever smiled… except the Balinese…  Having all the tourists around with excess cash hanging out of their pockets just begs for tacky T-shirt sales.  There are a million little shops dotted all along the street all selling the same things.  The vendors in theses shops are always accosting you to buy something from them.  They are warm, friendly and persistent.  Very persistent.   As you walk down the street you are constantly bombarded by warm Balinese smiles accompanied by words of greeting such as “Massage?” “Transport?” “Shopping?”  Strangely they all seem to sound like English words.

We did go to the coffee plantation where they produce the Luwak coffee - the most expensive coffee in the world.  The reason it is so expensive is the processing.  The Luwak is a type of weasel who eats the coffee cherries and poops out the beans.  The beans are then collected (I don’t want to know how), cleaned (thank goodness) and roasted to make the famous “weasel” or Luwak coffee.   Apparently in Thailand they are attempting to do the same thing using elephants.   I can see the advantages – elephants eat a lot more than Luwaks and, as the old saying goes: “You eat a lot, you poop a lot”.  The one disadvantage that I see is that handling an elephant that is irritable, cranky and hasn’t slept well has to be more difficult than a weasel.

The poor wide-awake, agitated and cranky Luwak

The cocoa pod - this is where chocolate comes from.

I tried the Luwak coffee for a mere 50,000 per cup.  Which works out to about $5.00 Canadian.  I know that this is where I should be making all kinds of puns about how crappy the coffee tasted but I won’t.  To tell you the truth – I could not tell much of a difference between the Luwak coffee and the regular Balinese coffee.  So, in spite of the sales pressure, I did not invest some hundreds of dollars for a pound of Luwak coffee.  As I was leaving I could see the Luwak looking at me with signs of relief in his staring eyes.

We stopped at Ubud – the place made famous by Julia Roberts in her film “Eat, Pray, Love.  The ultimate “chick-flick”.  This is where all the artwork such as jewelry making, woodcarving, batik and painting comes from – as well as the famous Balinese dancing.  It is the cultural center of Bali as compared to the cultural fringe in Kuta - where the Australians come to be offensive.  It actually looks like Sanur (where we are) with tons of shops all selling the same things – just more of them.

We went up to see the volcano at Kintamani. It felt like we were driving up a river.  The road was completely inundated and, since it was on a slope, it was rushing down.  The rain was hammering down and the visibility was so poor I am pretty sure our driver was navigating by recall.  Great, I thought, we get to see a spot on the road where, when the God was willing, the volcano has once been seen.   We stopped at a restaurant and as we sat down the rain stopped, the clouds parted, the trumpets blew and, lo and behold, there was a faint outline of a volcano.  During lunch the visibility improved to the point where it was possible to actually see the volcano.  When we finished lunch – the rain started up and the volcano was turned off.

The Volcano at Kintamani.  

In spite of my griping Bali was a good experience.  The people are friendly and smile easily.  I would imagine that in their dry season things would be more pleasant and there would be less Russians and more Australians.  Certainly that would mean less rudeness and more smiles although probably no less emesis.  If we had made Bali our holiday destination we would probably have been very disappointed but since it was a stopover between Asia and Australia it was ok.

Telen writes:

After the intense cultural experience in Indochina, I found Bali to be rather mediocre.  Don’t get me wrong, Bali is beautiful with warm sunny weather when its not raining.  The island however is very touristy with aggressive vendors who would stop you at every block.

We took a day tour to the interior of the island as I really wanted to visit Ubud.  Yes, I read the book “Eat, pray and love” and watched the movie starring Julie Roberts.  Unconsciously I had this image in my head that Ubud would look like scenes in the movie i.e. small villages with children running around.  I definitely did not see signs to take one to see the local priest for word of wisdom.  We saw more souvenir shops, cafes and lots of tourists crowding along narrow streets.  The rice paddy terraces were beautiful but oddly we had to pay an entrance fee.  The drive up to the volcano was interesting to say the least.  Rain was pouring down so hard that water was running down the pavement like river.

Telen and me at the rice paddies

The rice paddies by themselves...

What I struck me the most about Bali is how Hindu spiritual practices have woven into people’s daily lives.  Our tour guide, Wayan, explained that every day, each family and business would lay out an offering to the Gods.  The offering looks like a little square tray made with coconut leaves, containing flowers, rice and sometimes incense sticks.  The trays were visible on the pavements in front of every shop in Bali.  Every 15 days and every month, a more major offering would be done at local temples.  On our return to Sanur at the end of the day tour, Wayan pointed out the beautifully dressed ladies balancing a huge basket on their heads making their way to the temple to make offerings.  There are numerous celebratory days in the year e.g. day of iron to pay gratitude for having all kinds of tools to use, day of education, day to honor rice, etc.

For Rand, he repeatedly mumbled that he missed the eager hands of the Asian girls stroking his hairy shoulders.  “I am not popular anymore”!

  

Bali hi!

We have surfaced from Southeast Asia and have crawled ashore on Bali.

We were in mid-winter in Southeast Asia and the weather was very warm and dry but the temperatures were just shy of unbearable.  Somehow or other we crossed the equator and arrived in Bali in mid-summer aka the rainy season.

a view of the volcano from the beach near our hotel

This is the slow season in Bali for a couple of reasons.  When I mean slow I am not referring to the pace which Balinese move.  I don’t think I have seen people who move slower.  It is like all the turtles that died got reincarnated as Balinese. 

The first reason is that the majority of their tourist comes from Australia.  Australia is just heading into summertime so no one has a reason to come to Bali.  How many people go to Hawaii or Mexico from Canada in mid-summer?  None of the sane ones do.

The second reason is the humidity. This explains both the slowness of the business and slowness of the locals. The boundary between the ocean and the air is a bit blurred right now.  I think I saw a Russian submarine drifting above the hotel two nights ago but it was New Year’s Eve, so I am not 100% sure.  One of the things about humidity is that it is a very small step from water in the atmosphere to water falling from the atmosphere.  You go from feeling wet and sticky to being just plain wet very quickly.  We have had thunderstorms daily and they are spectacular.  There is lightning followed by thunder with no perceptible gap.  I think that means the lightning is right here, right now which is NOT a comfortable thought.

The Rain in Bali.  This is the road outside our hotel.  Notice Telen's feet are not visible.

High humidity brings other problems.   They are called flies.  These flies are not biters. They are annoyers.  They land on you in tickly little flocks and, I think, drink your sweat.  Unlike mosquitoes, which love Telen, these flies seem attracted to me. Flies love the smell of excrement or dead meat.  So the flies are both annoying and very uncomplimentary.

I am mourning the loss of my newfound sexiness.  In Southeast Asia women found me to be attractive.  No one really knows why.  Research is being done.  Here in Bali I am just one of a myriad of old, overweight westerners.  It is demoralizing when you discover that your attractiveness is no longer to women but to flies.

Our first experience with the beach here was not good.  The water was full of garbage.  It was mostly plastic bags but Telen did come across the seat from a car.  The water here is almost body-temperature and to have plastic bags with undisclosed content floating by is just creepy. Apparently during the rainy season garbage come down the river and empties into the ocean and, if the current is right, it drifts to the beaches.  After that I was thinking that we might change our plans but I was willing to give it another try.

Our first visit to the beach.  There is lots more of this in the water.

The next day, when we went to the beach, it was immaculate.  I am not sure how.  The water was clean and the jetsam on the beach was gone.  I have this image in my mind of a horde of Balinese sweeping along the beach picking up all the garbage and hauling it to the dump up the river… 

Bali is one of the richest provinces in Indonesia thanks to tourism.  It is certainly a contrast to Southeast Asia.  In Southeast Asia it was rare to see anyone who was overweight – other than myself, of course.  Here it is not as common as in Canada, but it happens.  We also see people wearing glasses and having braces on their teeth.  Both of those things are way too expensive for people in SE.

Balinese people are very warm and friendly.  They always want to chat with you and one of the first question is “where are you from?” and second one is “how many children do you have?”  They ask questions that we, in our cool and distant society, would consider invasive.  They do it with such charming smiles and such warmth that it feels more like they want you to be their friend rather than being nosy.  They don’t seem to put on a façade like we do at home.  They let you know how they feel rather than pretend everything is “just fine, thank you”.

At the New Years party, put on by the hotel, the staff was having a better time than the guest.  All of us stiff westerners were sitting properly in our chairs trying to loosen up by drinking loads of booze. In contrast the hotel staff were singing and laughing and “groovin’” to the music.  They were relaxed, sober and unselfconscious and very obviously enjoying themselves.

A young soft-spoken Scot that we met, named David, asked the band if he could play some music with them.  I thought, “Oh great – someone who thinks he is a great Karaoke singer is going to get up there and do a cringe-worthy Frank Sinatra song”.  I could not have been more wrong.  David transformed into Elvis and the audience transformed into a swarm.  The whole audience stormed the dance floor and the staff was frenziedly pulling tables back to make room.   I could see the band looking at David speculatively and thinking that maybe they should have played that kind of music initially…

So far Bali has shown us her moist side.  The humidity is high, the rains torrential and the perspiration is continuous.  The ocean is warm and wet but so is the air so there is some ambiguity about which one you are in.  However, she has also shown us a hint of her beauty as well – the lush jungle, the sandy beaches, the magical evenings and the unique culture.  The bugs, the bats, the frogs and the flowers all add a feeling of the exotic. 

Ok, maybe not the bugs – they just add a feeling of crankiness.

Telen writes:

I managed for once to stay awake for the New Year’s midnight gong because the Balinese sure knows how to celebrate.  For 2 days before New Year’s Eve, we watched workers setting up an elaborate stage near the back of the hotel dining room, along with all the special lightings and stage decorations.  The evening started off with a buffet, featuring a roasted suckling pig (an Indonesian specialty).

The Suckling Pig.  Notice the resemblance to Rand?

Then, the entertainment started.  We were treated to a number of traditional dances accompanied by a dozen musicians playing various Indonesian instruments.  I really enjoyed watching these dances even though I did not understand most of the symbolism.

Rand demonstrating how NOT to do traditional Balinese dancing.  

  Later, another band came on stage, playing western music.  The lead singer had a very beautiful voice but the songs just did not seem to arouse the audience to get up and dance…until our Scottish friend Dave played Elvis!  After midnight had arrived, we heard lots of fireworks outside.  Indeed, it lasted for a good half hour.  Apparently fireworks are very cheap here.  The locals just love them whenever there is an opportunity.  Interestingly, I read that on Bali, there is a festival or celebration almost every day somewhere on the island since there are many Gods in Hindu culture.  One of them is called Nyepi, meaning a “day of silence”.  Nyepi is the Hindu New Year, usually falls some time in March.  For 24 hours from 6 am to 6 am next day, the entire Bali population observes silence.  There will be no work, no traffic on the streets except for medical emergencies.  People would fast, meditate, and reflect.  Use of electricity is kept to a minimum.  Tourists are to stay in their hotel rooms that day.  For 2013, Nyepi will be on March 12.  Thank goodness we will be gone by then!

Good-bye to Southeast Asia

We have finished our Southeast Asia journey.  What an incredible trip!  Southeast Asia is a part of the world that blows you away with its beauty and breaks your heart with its history.  It makes you smile, makes you laugh and makes you cry.  The people are unfailingly warm and hospitable with beautiful smiles and yet some of them live in conditions that are appalling.   We walked by a store in Siem Reap and inside we could see the family sleeping on the floor yet a little girl came running to the door with a brilliant smile to say “hello”.

Laos was everyone’s favourite country.  Although it is land-locked and has no sandy beaches often associated with tropical destinations it was stunningly beautiful.  From our “cruise” down the Mekong River, to our trip through the mountains it blew us away.  The people are more laid back and it was nice to have someone wave at you from across the street just because you were there. 

Anyone know of an elephant Chiropractor

Vietnam had personality.  And coffee.  Oh…. the coffee!  Hanoi was frantic and abrasive with narrow streets and everyone loved the sounds of their horns but it was funky.  Ho Chi Minh city (aka Saigon) was having a serious identity crisis but it had great energy.  Hue and Hoi An were more laid back but still had that good ol’ ADHD feel.  Over indulgence in that incredible coffee…

The quiet streets of Hanoi (Horn oi?)

Cambodia broke my heart and healed it.  We saw beggars there for the first time and we saw sights that were incomprehensible.  We also saw the sweetest kids in the world and Angkor Thom and Angkor Wat.  We had Christmas in Siem Reap with tons of laughs and a feeling like we were amongst friends.

The incredible kids

Angkor Wat on Christmas morning

Bangkok was shabby and Thailand itself seemed tawdry compared to the rest of Southeast Asia.  Having said that, the food was marvelous!  The people?  Southeast Asian- lovely smiles and great warmth.

The standard of beauty in Southeast Asia is something that puzzles me.

 In Thailand there is the “Lady-boy” thingy.  They even have their own beauty contest.  Lady-boys confuse me.  What is their target?  I cannot be straight men – they look like women but have a penis.  Gay men?  They have a penis, but look like women.  Straight women?  Probably not – same problem.  Lesbians?  Uh, uh – the penis thingy again.  In the Thai language you have to add a word at the end of your sentence to identify your gender.  If you are a woman you finish your sentence with “Ka” and if you are a man you finish your sentence with “Kop”.  I guess gender isn’t always obvious from strictly visual clues.

Counter-intuitively women find me attractive here.  Again, this is confusing.  Where else in the world is an aging, overweight, bald man considered hot?  One of the things that seems to be considered sexy here is my pelt.  I have caught women staring at my fuzziness and, in some situations, staring is quickly followed by touching.   I am used to having my fur stared at, there is a certain horrible fascination to it, but it is more often followed by nausea rather than touching.

Petting the Neanderthal - a favourite pass-time in SE

Having said that, it is common to see very attractive young Southeast Asian women in the company of old western men.  This is, I think, a good thing.  It works for both parties.  The women are looking for someone with money to look after them and their potential off-springs whereas the man is looking for someone who is devoted to them and will look after them as well.  Apparently having “white” babies is a very good thing.  It was interesting to see how even hardened security guards, customs officers and police will stop and make goo-goo eyes and smiles at white babies

You cannot talk about Southeast Asia without talking about Buddhism and War.

Buddhism is an integral part of the society.  It seems reminiscent of Europe during Medieval times where the Christian church had so much presence that it figured into everything that people thought and did.  Buddhism seems to have that same presence there.  When I spoke to other amateur artists they were all very keen to draw or paint Buddha and that seemed to be their only subject.

I told them, “No!  I will not pose for you!”

Buddhism does not seem to have the power structure that the Christian church does.  There are no huge hierarchies or attempts to control the population.  The monks go into the monasteries voluntarily and can stay as long as they want and can leave any time they wish. 

Buddhism, to me, seems to make the most sense of any religion in the world today.  It seems more like a philosophy where the goal is enlightenment.  However, like all religions, people use it for their own ends.  

Buddhism today is, I think, not exactly how Buddha wanted

The people of Southeast Asia are not warlike. They have been victims of the “Game of Thrones” indulged in by America, China and Russia.  I think the sculpture in the center of Phnom Penh of the gun with the barrel tied in a knot says it all.  So many people have died horrible deaths there from the interference of the aforementioned power-hungry countries and continue to do so thanks to unexploded bombs and crushing poverty.   These are not soldiers but are innocent victims like women, children and non-combatants. 

Lack of education, corruption and poverty plague these countries.  They are all interlinked.  Education is supposedly free but because the teachers are paid so little you have to pay for each of the lessons and you cannot pass unless you pay again.  For people that have little enough it becomes a terrible burden and often that expense becomes secondary to food.  It is not uncommon to see new cars driving around but apparently those belong to government officials who get paid huge amounts of money and drain off extra as well.

My mind keeps returning to my little sweetie in the village and I wonder what her life holds for her.  Is she going to end up worn out and worn down like the ladies in the village - looking 70 years old when she is 40? 

I keep wondering what I can do to make her life better.

Telen Writes

Visiting 4 countries i.e. Thailand, Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia in a month has been an intense cultural experience for me.  Unlike Rand, my genetic makeup means that I blend in easily with the locals until I start to speak.  I therefore was not as “popular” with the locals, especially the women, as Rand.

Having seen the devastations in SE Asia from wars, colonialism and political conflicts, I conclude that all people want in life is to live in harmony with each other.  Wars such as the Vietnam War and the Pol Pot regime did more destructions than good.  The gentle and kind spirits of the people in these countries impress me.

The culinary experience has been most flavorful.  Having taken a Thai cooking class in Bangkok and a Vietnamese cooking class in Hoi An, we now are more confident to prepare our own Thai and Vietnamese dishes at home.  The food has been delicious.  A lot of the ingredients are produced and purchased locally, and this means FRESH.  Rand and I both feel trimmer in spite of never having missed a meal.

Sharing Christmas dinner in Siem Reap, Cambodia with 13 other group members was a lot of fun and filled with international goodwill.  I am not sure how but there was a roasted turkey, cooked to perfection.   We even had a “secret Santa” gift exchange.  I certainly felt blessed.

Laos, Vietnam and Cambodia are developing nations, with the usual issues such as illiteracy, lack of clean water, high infant mortality rate etc.  I certainly witnessed some of these issues in the villages we visited.   Yet, the cultures are rich and I sense a pride in the people.

We have just arrived in Bali now to “chill out” and to reflect on our fascinating experience.