Roman Holiday

Rome has been around for over 2500 years. 

Over that time it has accumulated a lot of tourist sites.  I guess things have to be around for a really long time to become infected with that aura that allows people to charge you for looking at it. Here you pay to see the Colosseum or the Roman Aqueducts.  I cannot imagine paying to see the Capitol 6 theatre or the pipe that brings water to the city… 

We used the first day in Rome to get acclimatized.  We were jet-lagged and culture-shocked and needed to find out how to do things, where things were and what is the best way to see what we wanted in the allotted time.  We also spent a lot of time sitting in chairs and staring into the distance.  I think when you are jet-lagged your brain periodically shuts off and requires rebooting – similar to a computer when the time on the computer and the local time disagree.

We bought a Roma pass.   NOT Aroma pass – that has to do with digestive problems and we don’t want to get into THAT!   A Roma pass is a tourist pass that allows you to ride the Metro and the busses and gets you into a lot of attractions for free and at the head of the line.  It was Telen’s idea.  She has the high-quality brain.  (Mine was purchased at a garage sale)

Our first stop was the Colosseum.  Thank goodness for the Roma pass!   The line-up stretched off into infinity. Looking at the huge line-up I got to conjecturing what those line-ups would be like during the busy season.   The weather is very cool here, it is the off-season and not a holiday so what was with the huge line-up?  With our Roma pass we walked to the special line-up and strolled into the Colosseum ahead of all the commoners, flipping our hair and looking down our noses as we passed them.   (You KNOW that is not true – I cannot flip my hair!)  Knowing some of the history of the Colosseum I did have a moment of hesitation thinking that lots of the people that got into the Colosseum ahead of the crowd had a lunch date with some lions.

I have to admit the Colosseum was looking a little old and shabby.  The place was a ruin!  Most of the seats were gone and the floor in the center seemed to be mostly missing. There were all these people there and yet they had no show scheduled! 

The Colosseum inside.   Could use a little sprucing up and maybe a lick of paint.

It really is an impressive structure.   It is amazing to think that, with all our vaunted technology we can’t build a building that will last 100 years without extensive repairs and government intervention yet the Romans built structures that are standing today.   Most of their technology consisted of slaves using such advanced tools as bare hands.  It was a little humbling.

I know now why the Roman Empire fell.   I saw some Roman Centurions outside the Colosseum and they were standing around smoking.   Not only that, but their swords, helmets and armour were made of cheap plastic!  I guess the Roman government must have been running into money problems when the barbarians were at the gates.   Being stabbed with a cheap plastic gladius probably left a nasty bruise but I am sure it didn’t slow the Vandals down much with their iron swords and axes.   Mind you, the Vandals only trashed a lot of Rome, spray-painted graffiti on things and damaged some public property.

After the Colosseum we went into the Roman Forum.   It was very cool to be walking around on the same ground as the Caesar boys and their ilk.  There was so much that we didn’t get to see even half of it.  The Romans had a huge influence on western history and it was amazing to be walking around where all those major decisions were made and where history was shaped.

Jet lagged at the Forum

The next day we took a tour of the Vatican.   The new guy, Frances, was not on hand to greet us.  He was probably just getting settled into his new digs, decorating his desk, finding out where the toilets are and having a confab with the boss and her son.

Sardined at the Vatican museum

The Vatican museum is basically huge art museum.  Apparently if you spent 30 seconds with each piece of artwork in the Vatican Museum it would take you seven and a half years to see it all.  Imagine if you had one painting in the Vatican…  that would be the height of anonymity.  Probably more people would see your painting if you kept it in your own basement behind the furnace. That is where I keep mine.  Except the ones that I don’t want anyone to see – those I keep in the Vatican.

The Vatican museum is a popular attraction in Rome.  When we started the tour I thought it was a popular attraction in Sardinia.  I felt like a sardine.  I could not believe the crowds.  Already the Italians have very small personal space and in the Vatican museum they give up the concept entirely.  The guide has a little radio that broadcasts his comments to everyone in the group who has a receiver and a small earpiece.  We looked like a crowd of secret service agents on holiday.  That meant that lots of times I had no idea where the guide was but I could hear what he had to say and I hoped I was looking at the painting he was referring to.

We eventually made it to the Sistine Chapel that, for me, was the whole reason for coming to the Vatican.  Seeing the work of Michelangelo on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel would have been breathtaking if you were allowed to make that much noise.  The Vatican police infested the Chapel and all of them had large bowel problems due to the presence of broomsticks.   NO TALKING! NO WHISPERING! NO PHOTOGRAPHY! NO BREATHTAKING!

The ceiling of the Sistine Chapel.   Not my photo.  Apparently if you take photos they take you outside and nail you to a cross...

Truly the work of Michelangelo was amazing.   But a nasty little thought went through my head.  Almost every person in the paintings was either nude or almost so and I wondered if Michelangelo was having a little laugh at putting all these nudes in the church.  His depiction of women was a little odd.  It was almost like he was painting them from theory rather than real life.  They all looked like buff men with breasts and long hair.  Mind you, all of Michelangelo’s men look pretty muscular – even the really old ones.  We did see the “Pieta” the sculpture that got Michelangelo his big break in the sculpting business.   Absolutely amazing!

The Pieta.  All that cloth is actually marble.   Michelangelo is an incredible talent

At the end of the tour we went to St. Peter’s Basilica.  I had some concerns about going in there especially when one of the Swiss Guard followed me in with a portable lightning rod.  He shouldn’t have worried – I figure God has good enough aim that she could zap me with no collateral damage.  However, no lightning bolts, plagues of locusts, or me turning into a pillar of salt, so that was good.  That is one BIG church!  Apparently the inside is the size of an American football field.  We didn’t see any games, though.

I was looking at one painting on the wall and glanced down to see the remains of Pope John Paul.  The one that died in the 60’s.   Apparently his remains were brought out for his beatification.  It was a little creepy - just like the head of St. Katherine that we saw in a church in Siena.  What is it with Catholics that they like to keep bits of their Saints in mason jars?  Isn’t that something like idolatry?  On the other hand they had the remains of Raphael in the Pantheon - but he was all sealed up in a coffin.

The Vatican is a huge, flashy and tremendously costly place.  I am not sure that Jesus would have wanted that.  Like Buddha he was not all about grandiose displays and spending huge amounts of resources on looking good.  Would it not have been better for the church to spend their money on feeding a starving population rather than building an enormous monument to themselves?  That goes for Buddhism as well as I mentioned in my blithering about Southeast Asia.

We did the “heart of Rome” walk.   We saw the Spanish Steps, the Trevi Fountain, the Pantheon and some of the most expensive shopping possible.   We noticed a plethora of Men’s clothing stores.  In Canada you are hard-pressed to find a Men’s clothing store, yet in Italy they seem to be on every street corner. This is such an alien concept to me.  The term “snappy dresser” has only ever been applied to me with either a strong negative applied or with barely suppressed laughter.  My main clothing supplier is MEC.   In Italy the men dress the part. They wear very snazzy suits or tight pants, long shoes and scarves.  In Canada that would scream “gay”!  Judging by how they look at women I would say that scream is more like a whimper.

Only available in Italy you say?  Pity.

The Spanish Steps

The Trevi Fountain

You have to have Gelato in Italy!

Lunch in the Piazza de la Pantheon.   The Most Expensive Cappucino Ever.

Telen writes:

My highlight in Rome was the visit to the Vatican.  In spite of what Rand said, I think he was glad that he came along.  I know that Rand hates crowd but I reassured him that I had booked a tour to the Vatican museum and the Sistine Chapel, which according to TripAdvisor, would help to bypass the long lineups and to focus on the highlights.  Well, I was SO GLAD that I did.  The collection of arts and frescos in the museum was immense.  Both Rand and I felt that the Vatican in general does not convey much sense of spirituality.  It reflects much more of the long history of political rules under various Popes and the glorious collection of artwork and sculptures.  Our guide Mark (from Ohio) mentioned that a Japanese company has earned the rights to the images in the Sistine Chapel since it paid for the cleaning of the frescos in the ceiling.  What a clever business arrangement benefiting both sides.  I then had a sudden brain wave.  The public can email a prayer to the Vatican and receives a blessing from the Pope, for a fee!

 I did check out the Prada store.  After all, it is owned by an Italian.  I did not dare to enter the store when I saw in the display window that the furry black clutch bag the mannequin was holding was priced at $4000 euro.  I had Rand to take a photo of me standing outside the store…quickly so that the security guard would not notice.

Telen and Prada